Sunday, October 16, 2011

What a Difference a Year Makes!

                    Karen, Julian, Paolo and Gabe at a good family friend's wedding in July 2010!


What a difference a year makes!  Today is one year from when Julian was diagnosed with cancer. We have had ups and downs, happiness and sadness and witnessed more than one miracle. This is Julian’s (and our) story over the last year.
                           Julian almost two at the same wedding in July! Happy and healthy!


Julian was diagnosed with ALL Leukemia and although this is a common childhood cancer, his age (normally affects kids around 6-10) and his unusually high white blood cell count of almost one million is what made his case so rare. Because only UC Davis Medical Center could treat Julian at this stage, Julian was immediately transferred from Kaiser in Roseville to UC Davis to have a special treatment called apheresis. This treatment was our first miracle. The treatment process consisted of removing his blood into a centrifuge which separated the white blood cells, red blood cells and plasma.  The white blood cells which also contained leukemia were then removed. Since his white blood cell count was almost a million, the goal was to get his blood cell count to around 100,000 so we could start chemotherapy. The reason this was necessary was due to the concern that if we gave him chemotherapy with such a high white blood cell count it would kill off the cancer cells and his organs would be unable to filter out all those cancer cells which would cause him to have organ failure. Julian’s white blood cell count was so high that he underwent aphaeresis 4 times in 24 hours at UC Davis, which even surprised the aphaeresis technician. After the fourth treatment, there was not much of a change from the previous treatment where his count had stayed at 150,000 white blood cells. This was because his body was making cancer cells too fast and was replacing the white blood cells that we removed with new ones just as quickly as the treatments were. We decided to start chemotherapy. That was October 25, 2010. The first 24 hours after the first doses of chemotherapy would be crucial. His organs were already under so much stress from the high amount of cancerous cells in his blood and now they would have to filter out the ones the chemotherapy had killed. His white blood cell count was still higher than what they wanted but his body was making cancer cells too fast to go any lower. His organs would be monitored very closely during the first 24 hours in case anything would happen they would try to assist his organs if need be. It was out of our hands. This would be our second miracle. He came through this and started waking up! He had been mostly unconscious since we arrived at UC Davis.
                                      Julian at UC Davis medical center. Starting to wake up!

                                            Paolo is Julian's number #1 doctor at UC Davis!

While at UC Davis Julian also received a broviac (which Julian now calls his “tubes”). This is a tube that comes out of his chest that we would be able to use to give chemotherapy, take blood samples and administer blood and platelet transfusions. Once he was stable, we were transferred back to Kaiser in Roseville and finished the Induction phase of treatment. The induction phase was 36 days long. October 25th, 2010 to November 25th 2010. It consisted of Intrathecal Cytarabine (spinal treatments), Vincristine (IV push), Prednisone (pill), Daunorubicin (IV), PEG-Asparaginase (shot), Intrathecal Methotrexate (spinal treatment). We were in the hospital for a month and were finally released right before Thanksgiving. How appropriate since we had so much to be thankful for.
                                                        Julian waiting to see if he goes home!
                                                                      Julian's first hair cut!

When we were discharged from the hospital we were taught how to care for Julian’s  broviac and administer medicine. His broviac needed to be cleaned and also flushed daily
                                      Paolo talking to Julian during a broviac dressing change.

We moved into the Consolidation phase, which was a big step in treatment. This meant that Julian had reached “remission” because after the first round of chemotherapy there were no detectable cancer cells being made at the end of the first phase! One, of many, milestones we would reach! Once his body had stopped making the cancer cells we were able to move into the consolidation phase. The consolidation phase was 78 days from November 29th, 2010 until February 1st, 2011. He received Intrathecal Cytarabine (spinal treatment), Vincristine (IV push), Prednisone (pill), Daunorubicin (IV), PEG Asparaginase (shot), Intrathecal Methotrexate (spinal treatment). After February 1st Julian’s treatment was placed in a holding pattern until his body was ready to continue. Julian required an ANC of 750 in order to go on. The ANC is a calculation taken from his blood sample that measures his ability to fight infection.  We waited and waited and waited some more! This was a very critical time for his health at this point. Julian had been receiving so much Chemotherapy that his body took a long time to bounce back. There were many times he had absolutely no immune system. So with it being the cold and flu season, and with his older brother in preschool, I cleaned obsessively and we were in serious lockdown mode at the house. We survived this stage with no hospital stays! Well worth the constant cleaning; especially while trying to keep life “normal” for Julian’s brother Paolo.

Next came the Interim Maintenance phase. It was a 57 day course of treatment that required periodic week long hospital stays to administer a high dose of methotrexate. It began March 7, 2011 and ended May 1, 2011. We would be in the hospital for a week and out for a week for a total of four hospital stays (or eight weeks). He would also receive Leucovorin (IV), Vincristine (IV push), Mercatopurine (6MP-pill) and Intrathecal Methotrexate (spinal treatment). This phase and the Induction phase were the hardest on the family because one of us was always with Julian in the hospital and then the other would be at home with Paolo juggling to keep the house filled with food and cleaned. Although I will admit NOT as clean as when Julian was at home! J I try to take advantage of the breaks when I get them!
                                                   Leaving our last scheduled hospital stay!

Then on May 2nd we started the Delayed Intensification phase. This was a 64 day phase that ended July 4th, 2011. He received Vincristine (IV push), Dexamethason (pill), Doxorubiein (IV push), PEG Asparaginase (switched to an IV form), Intrathecal Methotrexate (spinal treatment), Nelarabine (IV), Cyclophosphamide (IV) and Cytarabine (IV push) and Thioguanine (pill). This is a combination of the Induction phase and the Consolidation phase along with a few new drugs. He got hit hard in the beginning and received a lot of chemotherapy at the end again which resulted in a low immune system and required even more obsessive cleaning for me and strict lockdown on the house! We were admitted on July 1st, 2011 because he had a low grade fever of 100.5 which is an automatic hospital admission to check for infection and bacteria. With no immune system and the broviac site a huge risk for infection they have a short window of time to catch any infection before he would become septic and affect his organs. Julian also wasn’t acting like the usual happy boy that he always is. We had been at the clinic the day before and he was not acting like himself. Of course, once we were admitted his temperature was 98.6 but we were stuck there for 48 hours. He was a nurse’s dream patient! He had no IV’s and no special care. We sat and we waited and played trains. As the 4th of July came around we were hoping he would get discharged. He needed to improve before we could be discharged. His immune system was compromised completely. His ANC went up .01 and that was the “momentum” the Doctors needed to discharge us! Gabe and I were very proud when the Doctors told us that usually they would not discharge a patient in Julian’s state, but that they trusted us to monitor and react to any changes in Julian.  

Finally we started the Maintenance phase which lasts about 2 years and where we are today. This is where we learned that technically the maintenance phase started in February! So we were already a few months into it! This last phase is the longest and broken into two more phases. The first part started July 18th, 2011. It is broken into three month cycles and we repeat it three times. It is approximately 9 months long as long as there are no set backs as we move through it. In this phase he receives Vincristine (IV push), Prednisone (pill), Mercatopurine (pill), Methotrexate (pill), Intrathecal Methotrexate (spinal treatment) and Nelarabine (IV). So far into this phase, his ANC has been from the 200’s to 2600. This is common as his body adjusts to coming off of all the higher doses of chemotherapy he has been taking. His bone marrow is learning to make everything on it’s own without being suppressed and it will take time to even that out. We are slowly learning to take advantage of his high numbers and rejoin the real world. We have gone from checking his blood 2-3 times a week to just once a month. Knowing what his numbers at any given moment, is harder to do but we have so much trust, faith and reassurance from his team of doctors. They all agree that Julian is responding amazingly well and we have to take that gift and learn to start living with it. Hopefully this spring his broviac will come out. This will be a HUGE step because there will be less of a chance of an infection or risk of something happening to his “tubes”. (Let’s face it. He’s three and things happen!) Once the broviac is removed he will be able to go to preschool and really start living a normal life. This will be a happy day for us and Julian who is dying to go to school like his brother!

Overall we know that through this most difficult time or our lives we are truly blessed. We have had continuous support from family, friends, my mother’s group, the preschool and let’s face it…facebook for venting my ups and downs! We had the resources to literally transform our house to a germ free bubble and everyone in our lives respected our neurotic rules. With all of our support we were also able to have either Gabe or I, be with Julian in the hospital and the other available to care for Paolo so neither of them was ever alone. We also had our Aunt Lynn Esparza who helped calm us and give us information during the tough times.  Lynn Esparza is a nurse practitioner in Oakland and also studied and worked with one of our oncologists, Dr. Jolly in this field. Most of all, we were blessed with the two strongest kids in the world! Paolo has taken this all in stride. He has adapted to the germ rules and “knowing so much about sick babies” that most adults couldn’t even comprehend. For Paolo, every time he asked us to plan something big he always says, “when Julian gets better, can we…..”.  Julian is the strongest hero of us all! He never minded the long hospital stays and being poked and prodded CONSTANTLY and having to fast before procedures. He actually has a strong interest in what the doctors do and jumps at the chance to listen to his (or anyone else’s heart) and look in people’s ears. On each Doctor’s visit after the Doctor does his initial check-up, Julian says its his turn and then checks the doctor for his vital signs! 
                           Julian getting his vitals with baby bear. Sit VERY still for the blood pressure!

Julian is such a trooper.  He will take any liquid medicine or crushed up pill without a second thought.The nurses at the hospital who have not worked with Julian in the past, always ask us what our strategy is to give the pill they need to give to Julian and we reply, “You can just give it to him, he’ll take it!” We are so proud of him.  He has even reminded us to give him his medicine!

This fight began with his will to live and our fight to win. In the beginning it was out of our hands Julian showed us miracle after miracle. He was only 2 when he was diagnosed and really doesn’t know any other way to live, but he lives every day. He has taught us so much over this last year and I can not even begin to imagine what he will teach us as he grows into a young man and see what he will do with his life that he fought so hard for. I know every parent thinks their kid’s are the greatest and the best but mine really are! J I’ve seen them struggle at some of the hardest times that most people won’t ever have to experience and I see the happy, strong, normal and well balanced kids that they are, after having gone through this last year. People tell Gabe and I, that it is because of us that we have all done so well but we always say we just did what any parent who loves their kids would do. We did what we had to and seeing them healthy now makes all the sacrifices and hard work we did seem so minimal.
                                          Julian's first relay for life by Tendercare Preschool!

Our journey will continue for a few more years but we will enjoy the time that we are given now and live in the moment for that is all that we have today!

Saturday, October 1, 2011

And so we began...

On July 26, 2003 Gabe and Karen said "I do." We were young, in love and naive about life. We had Paolo Gabriel Esparza on August 18, 2006. Our life changed forever! Then came Julian Amaro Esparza on September 15, 2008. We were still (semi) young, in love and a little less naive! :) On October 16, 2010 our world changed (again) forever when we heard "your son (Julian) has cancer." This last year has been a whirlwind of change, adjusting, coping and dealing with one moment at a time. I used Facebook in the past to express my thoughts, emotions (positive or negative) and fears. It was a one stop vent for me. As we approach Julian's one year anniversary of Julian's diagnosis we have reflected on where we once were and how we once lived. A lot of emotions have come up recently but most of all thankfulness. We are thankful for all the kind words, support and unconditional love from friends and family. We are blessed with Julian's will to fight and live so happily while at the same time reminded how quickly it all can change. I wanted to create something that shows our WHOLE family living and loving life. I can see everyday how this last year has changed each one of us. Despite the bad, we have found some good. I don't know why this happened. I only know that it happened for a reason.
My hopes are that my Facebook page will go back to my daily routines and thoughts. No matter how mindless, sarcastic or odd they may seem and that our family will be able to be showed living and loving life as it continues on. Life after cancer if you will. Even though Julian is in maintenance and he still has a few years of chemotherapy treatment ahead of him. The light at the end of the tunnel grows brighter for us and we see our life changing yet again!